The Worst Day

Last week I had the worst day I’ve had in two years.

There wasn’t a specific event or confrontation. Just a building frustration that had been quietly accumulating for about two months. The sense that we aren’t making enough progress. And if I’m being honest with myself, a fear that my boss will be disappointed when she gets back from vacation because we have little to show for it.

So let me be really honest. What I was actually feeling was a belief that sometime in the future, someone will be disappointed in me.

That’s not a problem. That’s a story I was telling myself.

And once I recognized it as a story, the Stoic question became obvious. What is actually up to me here? My boss’s reaction isn’t up to me. The pace of progress isn’t entirely up to me. What other people think of me isn’t up to me. This isn’t some special circumstance picked out especially for me. It just is what it is.

So, what is up to me? How I show up today.

For decades I’ve used a method I call GREAT to make sure I do that. On the hard days especially.

Grateful. Wake up and remember this day is a gift. It was not a certainty that you would make it.

Reflect. Journal about the day ahead. Write about your fears, the decisions you’re sitting with, that feeling you can’t shake. Free write. This is for you, so do your worst. Clear out the residue.

Exercise. Don’t think about it, just show up. After the first set you’ll start to feel better and by the time breakfast rolls around you’ll be seeing in full color.

Action. What are the two or three most important things you’ll do today? Write them down. Those are your wins. Complete them and you did a good day’s work.

Time. Decide now when you will turn off work and transition back to your life. Write it down and stick to it. Do not lose track of time and miss out on the most important part of your day.

That’s it. How do you make sure you have a good day? Do good things. GREAT is how I remind myself to do that every morning — including the morning after my worst day in two years.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Viktor Frankl