The Basket

Failure isn’t all or nothing

The filing basket is overflowing. It’s my last day of vacation. I took an extra day so I could be refreshed when I got back to work. So far, I’ve done my strength training, took a walk, and did some light reading. But in the back of my mind, what I’m really thinking about is the years’ worth of filing that is in our basket on the counter.

Every time I go to the kitchen sink, I see it. Sitting on the left, underneath the cabinet, a leaning tower of judgment.

Why do I wait? Why does this one task make me feel like I’m failing as an adult?

Here are the facts: I’ve resolved to file monthly every year for about 20 years or so. I file about once a year. My husband gets the mail, he sorts, he recycles, and he adds a few things to the top of the pile. I’ve justified it because when we need some kind of paperwork, I can find it.

But really, what an eyesore. Every time I see it, it will take an otherwise good morning and remind me how I’m failing.

Where are you calling yourself a failure because of your “messy counter”?

After I finish the filing today, we will get more mail and I will see this pile start to grow again.

But this time, instead of waiting, I’m going to do this each month. I’m going to spend 30 minutes one Saturday and I’m going to file.

The fact is I really dislike filing, and when I see it pile up, I roll my eyes and tell myself I can do it later. So why would this be different?

Maybe the part that needs to be different is the idea that as soon as the filing is done, I’ll be the kind of person who is on top of her life. Because the basket refills as do the laundry and the weeds. There is no “on top of it” to get to.

This small chore won’t become a piece of evidence that I’m failing. It will stay a small chore and have no power over me. Maybe.

To find fault is easy, to do better may be difficult. – Plutarch